Why I Started My Blog: LifeAfterPTSD.com
Okay all, I finally started my daily blog in recognition of National PTSD month.
Some of my close friends and family are aware that I am living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) steaming from Military Sexual Trauma (MST) & Command Rape during my short tour in the US Navy. What you guys don’t see is the daily struggle to move past the issues that still try to haunt me.
I have made a choice to live an AWESOME life with God’s leading and to not allow my to past dictate my future.
Why Should You Read My Blog
I hope you or someone you know are able to benefit from my transparency. This is not easy, as I am a very private person…but I believe it will help someone.
So Whats The Story…Why Do I Have PTSD?
I was assaulted on my 19th birthday in March of 2000 and by winter of that same year a medical review board found me “Unfit For Duty” , forced me out of the military and denied me military compensation for the evil that occurred to me.
I was so ashamed of what I deemed as a drastic failure I stayed in California living as a homeless veteran for one year until the Veterans Affairs (VA) reviewed my case and compensated me for the assault and depression steaming from my short tour in the military.
I was awarded VA compensation on September 1, 2001, 10 days before the terrorist attack on the United States ~ 9 – 11.
The picture above is of me during the end of basic training in the US Navy in Great Lakes Illinois (August 1999), only seven months before I was stationed at my main duty station where I was assaulted and diagnosed with PTSD & depression.
My Life Now
Through it all, I consider myself to be a fortunate survivor. I am not bitter but better from life circumstances. I tell my self to do my best to forgive those that spitefuly did evil against me, but sometimes its hard…even as a Christian. I try to live my best life each and every day. I try to focus on the positives and live in the reality of my future and present life and not allow my past to have precedence over me. I still have a ways to go in my healing process. I was told that it would be hard to completely heal from PTSD but I am trying my best to get past what happened to me.
The picture below is of myself, YC Lawson, during the winter of 2009.
I am writing this blog now in the summer of 2015. It has been 15 years since the assault and I still have nightmare and horrific day dreams about the events that took place in my life. However, I have made a choice to move forward in life and believe God for my complete and total healing of the military assault.
I pray that those of you who live with PTSD or if you have a loved one who has PTSD, to allow God to be your peace and your sanctuary. There is no way I would have made it through the years if it had not been for God on my side.